The Grateful and Proud Mother

 

 

My elder daughter, Ashley is goal-oriented (and rather perfectionistic).  Has been her entire life.  At 24, she applied for and was granted Rotary International's Ambasadorial Scholarhip - and was funded by the Foster City Rotary Club to attend an international master's program. 

 

She looked at several countries before she decided on Chulalongkorn University in Bangkok, Thailand.  She became one of 24 students in an intensive one year program in international development - the MAIDS program (Master of Arts in International Development Studies). 



Thank you Foster City Rotary!

To say that the experience changed her life is an understatement.  It changed her path, her understanding, and her personality (well, she is still goal-oriented and rather perfectionistic - you can't change some things) - what a gift Rotary gave her.  



 

Her move to this part of the world also started the healing of many rifts in our own relationship and I am so grateful for that.  Thailand is one hour earlier on the clock and it is easier to communicate with an awake person in Palawan than someone in the US whose clock reads 3am. 

To get into the Philippines on a tourist visa, you have to have purchased an exit ticket, showing that you will not stay in the country interminably.  When I returned on my own in September, 2012, I had no idea when I would be leaving.  But, I did know that I wanted to attend my daughter's masteral graduation in Bangkok.  However, there was no published date for the graduation. Such are things in South East Asia - never certain and rescheduled on a day's notice - really.  I guessed the 1st or 2nd week in July and bought a ticket on my younger daughter Kate's birthday - the 4th of July. 

As the months went by I got updates:  Ashley may not be here to attend (I told her I would attend and clap anyway); she may have returned home to the US; she may be at a friend's wedding or on holiday at that time; she was required to attend two rehearsals for the graduation event and couldn't make them; she could make one reheasal and that wasn't enough; I wouldn't be allowed in.  Through it all, I said I already had a ticket and was coming to Bangkok whether or not she was there.  Finally, she told me the date was July 12th, and encouraged me to go somewhere for the week before the graduation. 

So, I went to Cambodia - one of my favorite trips ever.

And returned to Bangkok on the 9th, staying in a beautiful suite in the Siam area, just a few blocks from MBK - an amazing shopping mall.  We met up on the 10th and shopped a bit and picked up her graduation robe.  Chula has two days of graduation festivities and the 11th we spent walking through the Chula campus and finding the Chula teddy she wanted - in two sizes - and scoping out bouquets for the big day. 

 
We also found a place to have our hair and make up done and reserved a slot for the following morning (at 6am!!! due to her private photography session at 8).  As the day wore on, I felt tired and slightly feverish, then achy - uh oh.

We were to have dinner that night with Dave's former work chum Mike and his Thai wife, Jitt, who have been wonderful to Ashley and her sister....but, by 5pm I was shaking so badly from fever and chills that I couldn't even hold a glass of water without spilling it.  I spent the night sweating and feverish - with Ashley's demand for me to get well before the big day.  On her way back from dinner, she picked up all sorts of medications and plied me with them.  I was determined to rally.



Before the disappointment

Which I did.  Up at 5:45, we stumbled out the door and around the corner and told the beauticians what we wanted - they argued and not only the language clashed, but the wills.  Ashley knew what she wanted, but the stylist was pretty determined.  I was okay and thought - well, maybe this is the Thai style. I was still not well - feverish and dizzy so that every time I stood up I swayed.  I wasn't much help to Ashley trying to dominate the stylist's wish.   By 8am, when Ashley was due at Chula for her special photo session, she was crying at the hotel across the street - cursing the Kesinee salon and reapplying her makeup.  I was still in the chair and they had just started on my makeup.  "No problem - just she will go ahead of you"  "Oh you look beautiful"...  With false eyelashes making my eyes feel heavy, and an enormous head of hair buffeting the wind, I made my way to Chula where the photographer and Ashley were obvious (sometimes it is nice to be the only blonde in a crowd).



Paula with Frank's Bride

Ashley wailed, "I look like the Bride of Frankenstein, and you look like Paula Dean!"   I didn't know what to say (and not knowing what Paula Dean looked like was a blessing) - neither of us looked like we wanted to, but I couldn't fix it, so said nothing.  I tried pressing down Ashley's teased hair, and thankfully the day was hot and humid, so it did fall a bit, and looked okay, although her friends told her afterward that she looked 30 years old (ancient!). 

 



But, as we walked taking photos, the festive spirit took over and a smile came back to her face (until a professor came up and scolded her for wearing the flowers in her hair - that is forbidden the woman said...hmm...then why are so many non-blondes wearing them?? ... maybe being blonde and foreign wasn't such aa good thing after all).

Chulalongkorn's school colors are Pink and White - which made for an incredibly cheery backdrop for photos.  The bright pink bus was festooned with hundreds of pink ballons, framing the grads.

Did I mention PINK???

                                                                                                                                                         

All of a sudden, we were surrounded by loud, noisy undergraduates with scads of balloons, who proceeded to serenade Ashley - it was hard to NOT grin from ear to ear.

Ashley has always been extremely social and revitalizes with crowds and parties - this day was so special that she was in her element.  It was great to see again her schoolmates that I had met a year ago - right after my fateful fall.  They all looked glorious in their attire - Safe was outfitted in military garb - white gloves and a long (and very heavy) sword affixed to his waist.  Carolina's parents and boyfriend had come from Colombia, Germany and Panama to attend, and Eiei's family came from Myanmar. 

MAIDS on the deck

 

with the dean of the college



Mike and Jitt



 



The graduates lined up at 12 for a 2pm graduation and stood in the hot sun without anything in their hands.  Eiei is pregnant and they worried around here as she nearly fainted from the heat.  The women were required to wear stockings and no jewelry at all (except for their Chula pin).  There were checkers - Ashley was required to cut her nails (which weren't very long) and several of the men were deemed too swarthy and were shaved (not electric - and no nice emolient to soothe their skin).

 


the parents' room

We parents were ushered to a large foyer where LCDs were set up - as Ashley had said, no one but the graduates were allowed to the graduation!  So, those of us who had traveled from distant cities, countries - and even continents, all watched together and waited about 4 hours to catch a glimpse of our particular graduate.  We held all the accoutrements of our graduate - their umbrella, water bottle, cell phone, flowers, gifts - and of course, teddy bear(s).   

Distant, but at the same time intimate with other parents who were feeling the same thing - pride and gratitude for their son or daughter, and anticiption of their next steps in life..


the princess and the graduates on LCD

Only the graduates were allowed with the princess, who personally handed each graduate her/his diploma.







You are not allowed to look at the princess - eyes downcast


 


Bowing as you backed away looked tricky



 We caught up with the photographer in the library and took a few more pictures

Relaxing with the King



YES!!!



     

By this time everyone was beat, and feet swollen.  Ash and her classmates talked about partying that night, but as true in SEA, nothing was set as definite (I knew I would be in bed - or bath - early!).

 

 

Trying to find a cab going the right way was difficult - we walked a few blocks and tried to catch about 10 cabs - they would stop and then say - no, too much traffic.  So - we finally got a tuk-tuk, who charged a fortune, but at least took us back to our hotel. 

We decided on pad thai at the hotel restaurant and returned to erase evidence of Paula and Frank's Bride - it took a while to recover from the teased hair.  Ashley made a half hearted attempt to get a group together for a party - then decided to postpone it for the following night - we both fell into bed with smiles on our faces.

A great weekend indeed.