It was the Best of Times; It was the Worst of Times

Warning:  No pictures in this post
I haven't wanted to take pictures to illustrate what I am talking about ... for good reason


In Manila I was chastised for comparing America to the Philippines.  But, how can anyone not compare their culture to another - and contrast it as well?  Not to criticize either one per se, but to take stock of the fascinating way that each society produces and then adheres to specific values, and sets in place beliefs to perpetuate their society.

I was told that I was a critical and negative person who offended others - and looked around to see who my Filipino manager was describing.  Wondering how on earth I had projected such an image here, and feeling really down and guilty - those who know me know how much such a comment hurts.  Reflecting on the how, I think it was just in those differences and each culture's perception of "good" and "bad" and their reaction to the reaction of "others".

In this country of tiny, exquisitely formed women - with no hips or thighs - I am a bulky, obsese giant of a person.  I stick out like a sore thumb.  Even today, when I got on a packed multicab, there wasn't a spot big enough for me and I almost got back off.  But this was the first multicab in 10 minutes and it was raining.  I squished in sideways and apologized to the entire vanload of 12 people:  "Pasensiya, mashado ng malaki ako."  (Excuse me, I'm too big).  In America, physical issues are more overlooked - here, they are highlighted in conversations.  "It's been a long time since I've seen you, you don't look the same," said a former male co-worker to Ofel one day at a chance meeting, "You've got so many pimples all over your face now."  Although it is inconceivable to me that she didn't take offense at this, I saw no reaction from her - either at the time, or afterward.

I, on the other hand, really do not like people loudly proclaiming to the world my worst physical faults over which I have little control. Poking me around the waist and patting my behind comes to mind..but several people do that to me - and I constantly flinch...some see that it bothers me and increase their poking; others see it bothers me and cease.  In the beginning, I tried to laugh with everyone, and made fun of myself a lot...but, it gets old, and doesn't seem to help the teasing or acceptance.

I've seen mothers here tease their youngsters and overwhelm them with tickling and poking and playing.  They appear to be proud of their children, but also tease them in front of others as well.  And, what is termed "enabling" in America is standard here.  Mothers do everything for their children and are quite amazing - very different from American culture which tries to 'grow' strong, independent children through enforcing logical consequences.  Here, parents give in to whatever a child wants - and doesn't discipline when things are broken - they just buy a replacement.  Here, it is common that chlidren sleep with their parents until their early teens.  Children are expected to live with their families - in many cases in the same compound, into adulthood, through marriage, family and old age until they die (however, the average age of death here is 66 years old because of poor nutrition, pollution, and quality control that the US takes for granted - and complains about).

It is easy to compare sanitary conditions - they are very poor here due largely to lack of a reliable infrastructure - water, electricity, gas, waste control, etc..  But, habits also contribute.  Most people take off the wrappers to bags of chips, and toss them wherever they finish eating...and even in this environmental city, there are few garbage bins - so people toss garbage on the street.  Manila is staggering with it's lack of waste disposal.  During training in Cavite, just outside of Manila, we went to a mall in the pouring rain - a friend of mine had a small cut on his toe - the next morning he couldn't walk and needed antibiotics for his toe, swollen from the bacteria laden trash in the streets.  Palawan is lucky that the Mayor of PPC has so focused on the environment for the past 20 years and has enforced anti-littering laws, with hefty fines.  However, people still urinate as needed and it is not socially unacceptable - in Olongapo, where I trained, elderly ladies wore no undies just so they could squat if need be.  And, it is normal for a man to relieve himself anywhere at any time (I always have been jealous of the male anatomy in that regard).  On the other hand, public toilets are rare, so what's the choice?

A fascinating contrast to America is treatment of animals in the Philippines.  Very few people treat their animals as 'pets' and there are the sorriest animals I've ever seen dragging themselves through the streets, searching for a scrap of food.  I am such an animal lover - but have thought that they should exterminate the sick ones - there are such genetic defects and diseases passed from mother to the litter.  I've never seen such horror - mange that causes bleeding through every orifice as well as through cracks all over their skin - the dogs actually appear pink due to the blood just beneath the surface of the skin.  They seem to live outside a particular house, but the owner doesn't seem to care, or help the health of the animal.  And yet dogs and cats continue to have litter after litter....even though there is a veterinarian in Irawan who gives free spay and neutering - he is a Belgian.  But, he has few takers for his free services.

Interesting to Americans are the habits of acceptance of fate here - including pollution and health issues.  I've met several Americans who almost foam with frustration at these issues. I suppose it might be a form of the  Philippine "bahala na" (it's up to God), and as I have said, I think they give it up to God a little too quickly.  Medical issues are really interesting - I'm talking about "sore eye" which is accepted as a 'winter' problem and goes through entire families.  This is conjunctivis or "pink eye" in the states - and can be completely avoided by washing hands - although here, people shake each other's hands, looking into blood red conjunctivis without consciously thinking that they will soon have sore eyes.  Another is lice - very accepted here - you can see people grooming each other's heads with a lice comb at their lunchtime -  they use the comb daily, and squish the lice between their fingernails.  They just accept that they will live with this, rather than try to eradicate it as Americans would.  Similarly, lamoc (mosquitoes) are mostly accepted, and eradication doesn't occur as an option - they laugh when I am covered in bites and say it is because I am white and giving the lamoc new skin to try.

Who is right and who is wrong?  There are some simple solutions to these problems which bother Americans.  But, they don't bother people living here - so why do we need to change them?  To a point, I agree with what I perceive as the way the Peace Corps addresses things - only if the people you are serving want to change things, for whatever reason, do I feel that we should 'help' them change.    However, when disease is involved, I differ -  if there are known ways to prevent mental retardation for instance, people should be aware - and there are many, many consequences here of malnutrition - including physical deformities and mental retardation.  There are diseases and deformities I've never even heard of before, let alone seen. 

One man in Manila was entirely covered in boils so awful that his face was malformed.  I have seen so many people with deformed feet - many club feet - so that they can barely walk - and I'm talking young people.  I can't imagine the pain that they must feel to just walk one block.  I've done a tiny bit of research into these issues, and the main factor seems to be malnutrition - from cleft palates to club feet to retardation.

And I've never heard of so many people with asthma - constant phlegmy coughs that rack their bodies day and night.  I keep getting worried with their racking coughs, asking them if they are sick - but they just say, "Asthma, Tita" as though it is just their cross to bear with nothing for them to do.  The strange thing to me is that they blame it on the change in the weather - and totally disregard the pollution here as a cause - although nearly everyone carries a hand towel to breathe through on their multicab or tricycle commute.  In addition to the awful exhaust pollution (leaded gas is the norm), every evening and morning (they say when the wind is right - but I haven't noticed any difference), there are enormous walls of smoke that encircle entire neighborhoods as people burn their leaves - and trash, including plastic.  And, this is in Puerto - the most environmental city in the country.

So, it is fascinating at the least, to understand how each society gets to the point they are.  At times I'm ashamed to be an American; at others, happy that my culture is not this one of acceptance and giving in/up.  I simply do not understand it.  I have always tried to improve things - myself mostly - but also things for others who say that they wish it.  I am having difficulty helping people who say they want things to change, but don't really seem to.  So, I am just observing and reporting for now.