Aftermath of the accidental meeting of car and motorcycle

Having the shit literally scared out of you is quite motivating.  By 7:45AM Monday morning, I stood in line at the Land Transportation Office (think DMV retro - which doesn't come close to the reality).  I brought a book on marketing to read and anticipated a long morning since I had been warned about the process which might take until 2pm.  In my head, I knew that Philippine inefficiency would not have reported the accident from the previous afternoon - but I was nervous nonetheless.

Fearless English speaker on the left

Angie's advice of the previous day- to speak in rapid English came back to me as I approached the terrified receptionist - "wait lang" she said - and returned with a large man who spoke fearless English.



                                                                         

The XEROX machine

He gave me some forms and told me to first make a copy of my passport and US driver's license (5 minutes/8 pesos at the sari-sari store), and then to go across the street to the medical clinic of Dr. Quiray for clearance.

Thrilled that I'd beat the crowd, I crossed to the clinic - there were several people in front of me, but I figured it would only take an hour or so.  It took 15 minutes and less than 500 pesos....because all the paperwork preceded me.  No - they weren't emailed in advance - it's just that here, things are done differently.

The jovial Dr. Quiray's "clinic"

The "results" of my physical exam were already filled in - blood pressure 120/80, good muscle tone, no hearing problems, no drug issues - an entire history.  No relation to reality since no one touched me or talked to me.  I did get on a scale, and they took my height (about 6'1" because they measured me on top of the scale and didn't bother to subtract the height of the scale).  But everything else had been typed in for expediency.  I couldn't check to see if everyone's blood pressure was 120/80, or had perfect hearing, but I suspect so.  I also received an eye exam - at the end the nurse said, "Oh - those are your reading glasses?"  Because, for the first time ever, I have no vision restrictions on my license - I was able to read at a 20/20 level -a miracle? no - because the test was positioned 6 feet from me - not 20.   But the 'doctor' was full of smiles and made jokes and the nurse was so pretty and accommodating.  I returned to LTO, with my medical clearance, ready to take the next step and figured I was      making good time - not even 9am yet!
 
"Wait lang po - please, take a seat here."  I figured we would take the written test next.and waited for others to fill up the table - about 40 people finally - but they trickled in and it was obvious that although I had arrived early and done an efficient job, that I was to be rewarded by waiting for everyone else to catch up to me.  By now, it was nearing 10am and there was standing room only in the LTO - about 150 drivers seemed to want a license that Monday.  After almost an hour, the tables were filled up and the application forms were handed out - not the test.  The man to my right finished first and I speeded up, thinking that they would accept payment in a logical order.  I turned in mine second.

"Wait lang po - please take a seat there" and I sat next to the man who finished before me. And we waited together - for another hour, until all the others finished.  We watched each of the 40 people after us fill out their applications - and one by one, go up to the window to take their first photo at window A.    Another hour went by and I finally went to the Fearless English Speaker - he glanced up and said "Wait lang po; please take a seat."    At 12:00 I was called to window A and my picture was taken.  The man behind the window told me to proceed to Window 2 to pay my fee...but Fearless intercepted me and told me instead to take a break and come back at 1pm.  I tried telling him that the other man had told me to pay.  "Come back at one"- and he turned away.

The crowd - waiting - with Windows A and B in the background

I had done a great job of smiling through this all, and was also thankful that I'd brought work to do - proofing the 300 page manual we'd finished.  My office was just around the corner, so I checked in, but left again in a half hour - wanting to be the first in the queue back at LTO.  My boss tossed me an ensaymada as I left - my lunch.  I ate the ensaymada, had a juice and read some more.  After an hour, I was called to pay for my application and was told to proceed to the examination room.  It was 2pm and I was the first in the room.

At each individual desk was a manual in Tagalog obviously for cramming.  After about 45 minutes, there were about 20 people in the room and the instructor began his lecture to prime us for the test. Thankfully they had found one English version and had also found a test in English.   There were posters all around the room and he pointed to one.  We spent perhaps 5 minutes reviewing this poster, a very simply graphic.  His questions began  - "Look at this - what does the color red mean?"  (no one answered)  How about when you see the color green?  (someone muttered Go, it might have been me) "Yes that's right you go forward on green."  "Now what about Yellow?"    

For the first couple minutes I thought perhaps this was the Filipino equivalent of comedy traffic school...but then I saw that everyone was paying rapt attention.  And I realized my biggest fear - that any of these guys would actually pass the test and be out on the road!

They told us that the first to finish the test would be the first in line for the physical driving test.  A great incentive - I finished the 50 questions in about 10 minutes - and missed two, quickly heading outside for the physical test.

Joke lang!

"Wait lang ma'am."    Another 30 minutes or so and 4 others had joined me to wait - a hint on how incentives and rewards work here.  Finally I was called and asked to bring my car around.  My enormous Toyota 4 Runner was parked at the corner and I rolled it up to the instructor.  "Wait lang Ma'am."    So I kept idling until he returned to poke his head in the window.and whisper conspiratorially, "I can tell that you know how to drive, so repark your car and come back and pay the fee."     Umm, okay.....


His whispered speech was special for me the foreigner.  When I got back to wait to pay my 580 peso fee, I noticed that no one else had taken a physical test either.

I arrived home at 5:30 pm - a full day, but I'm legal now - as if that matters - I'm also terrified to drive.

The paper temporary license is good for a year - and from what I understand, it takes at least that long to get your laminated license - you have to return to LTO and check the board to see if yours is ready.

I think I'll wait a while.