Thursday, October 24, 2013

EUREKA!!


Eureka! literally means “I found it!” and is the state motto of California.  Being a native of that state,  I’ve always liked the motto, and try to apply it as often as I can to a plethora of topics – even living on the opposite side of the globe.  Archimedes, of ancient Greece, is credited for exclaiming "Eureka!" as he ran naked from his bath, realizing that by measuring the displacement of water an object produced, compared to its weight, he could measure its density.   Although it refers to finding a conceptual answer, people erroneously use it to describe tangible objects - as I do here.
"Eureka!"  I said in Robinson’s as I saw my first cheddar cheese in 2 years.
"Eureka!"  I said, finding the last 10 pesos in my purse to pay the trike fare.
"Eureka!"  I said, picking up a perfect olive shell from the Corong-Corong sands near El Nido.
In the case last Saturday, it would have to be my surgeon Dr. Salazar who said "Eureka!", and the “it” would have to be changed to “them” – lots of “thems”.
When I applied for my retirement visa, I had to do several medical tests, and my doctor here told me that they found a “few grains of sand” in my gall bladder – and that I should drink a lot of water to prevent them getting any worse.  That was in June.  This is October, and here are the grown up “grains”.


 


 
 
 
 
 
 


 
I suppose I could investigate what on earth I could have eaten that would have produced such boulders in only 4 months.  I must admit that I love Angie’s mom’s recipe for empanadas that are served at La Terrasse, but I haven’t had that many.  Maybe the setting was wrong on the doctor’s equipment – stuck on the micro setting?   Maybe water made them grow and I misheard the advice – should I have NOT drunk so much?    But, I’m talking Easter Island quality, heavy rocks.
In any case, obviously the delicious dinner we had at La Terrasse on Friday night to celebrate the closing of the ICT conference - and my pigging out – was the trigger.  My newest ‘find’ was “chicken and veggie empanadas with sweet and sour dipping sauce” and “a variety of fruit tartlets, including mango, watermelon and papaya”.  Not only did I eat the regular dinner (and my first Long Island Iced Tea, of which I could only drink half – POTENT), but– as my midnight treat AFTER the huge meal, I stuffed myself  the leftovers of my “find”.   I tumbled carefully into bed, stuffed to the gills. 
At 3:30 am I woke up and knew something was wrong – duh – really?   Trying all the local solutions and my own to no avail, by 11am I’d called my friend Jane to take me to the hospital since I knew I wouldn’t make it without help. 
By 1pm I was scheduled for 2pm surgery – thank heavens I really liked the surgeon (and his credentials) who was already at the hospital – I was still coherent at this point.  Getting to Manila didn't really seem an option as the pain progressed.  As usual, I was cracking jokes and smiling, diffusing the problem.  That seems to be my historical manner of addressing problems - laughingly make jokes in the beginning and then wallow in the pain.  So predictable.
By 3pm I wasn’t so charming and begged them to hurry.  After multiple trips to the CR to throw up bile and moan in private, I decided that a more embarrassing approach was needed – so I freely, frequently and with some fervor moaned in the little glassed-in cubicle just in front of reception.  I no longer smiled at the nice nurses – they had become the enemy.   I had an enormous urge to just leave - which reminded me of my first daughter’s birth - coincidentally, 26 years previously – to the day – October 12, 1987:  enduring 23 hours of back labor which resulted ultimately in a C-section - the pain getting to the point that I remember saying to the nurses that I needed to leave and would return later!   I did get a grip now and recalled that there was no alternative and that until the current patient in surgery was finished, I would sit here…I moaned louder and made loud gagging sounds – no Thespian skills needed here – man it was painful!
Experiencing déjà vu in not a good way as they pushed me into the operating room - the attendant was the same man I remembered and the OR was just as cold as I remember from my February 2012 debacle…I hoped for a better outcome to this surgery.
It was just wonderful waking up – no pain!!!  I did notice an IV drip, which probably explained that, but man did I feel better!  Bladderless.  Although I’d intended at one point on doing medical school, my scores weren’t high enough to get into the good universities, so I didn’t make it through all the anatomy courses and explanations of the basic mechanics of the bile system.  Maybe you didn’t either – here’s a short animated version made by a Carolinian with a calm, lilting voice:

And what a difference 20 months makes!  Adventist Hospital – at least as regards gall bladder surgery – at least as regards Dr. Salazar - has come into the 21st century – the surgeon even recorded the 38 minute procedure and gave me a copy, along with my keepsake stones…uh, thanks.

I’m at the one week mark and still sore – very glad it wasn’t the open surgery where they do some real cutting.  Angie picked me up at the hospital and even in her lovely new car with heavy suspension, I gasped when we hit bumps in the road (those of you who have visited the Philippine provinces will understand the underlying joke in that).  
 
Thankfully, I’ve had plenty to keep me busy, including writing a grant for Special Olympics, finishing a 200 page training manual for employees, and motivating folks to stand up and be counted in the protest over building a coal-fired power plant here (quietly, since I do not wish to be deported).  But I feel rather like someone from that planet in Star Trek where Kirk and Bones could find no people – only to find that they had evolved to brains only, “living in thought” in a liquid preservative...”Fascinating,” murmurs Bones.       
I’m ready to get out of here!
 
I am going to add parts of the video here only because I have nowhere else to keep it and don’t want it on my desk top.  If you have a daughter or son who plans on entering medical school, they might like it – or if you are on a nutritional campaign to abstain from cholesterol, this may be worth a peek.  I found the technology fascinating, but then Liz has always said that I’m odd that way – Liz – do NOT watch this – it is gross. 
 
Luckily for Liz, I can't seem to upload the wmv file     Will keep trying

Carpe diem!